Food

EXPERTS have confirmed that eating cake for breakfast is absolutely fine and should be encouraged.

THE government has misled, hidden the facts and flat-out lied to Britain. Worse, they have refused to explain what the f**k has happened to Frosties.

AN obnoxious middle-class mother has asserted that her five-year-old has never had sugar and would not like it if he did.

PARTS of central London are to be transformed into European-style outdoor dining areas. Here’s how to deal with rain, pigeons and drunk passers-by.

POST-BREXIT blue passports are to double as Second World War-style ration booklets to make everyone really proud of being British again.

A WOMAN is incredibly smug about all the gardening she is doing, even though she is growing things that she thinks are horrible.

WHEN the UK/US trade deal happens and those pesky food standards are lowered we’ll be able to make all sorts of monstrous meals. Here are some suggestions.

A MAN who was thrilled to be going for a drive-through McDonald’s was gutted to remember it is just so-so fast food.

A MAN realised to his horror that he had been invited to a barbecue for vegetarians.

A WOMAN’S sourdough starter has let her down just like every other human, animal and plant always bloody does.