Food

STRUGGLING to feed your family in these difficult times? Luckily consumer expert and posh shopper Susan Traherne is here to help with some detached-from-reality tips.

EU COUNTRIES are hostile enemies of Britain, so you need British subsitutes for your favourite Italian meals. Try these.

MARMITE is attempting to cross-pollinate with every other item on supermarket shelves to become the only product available, scientists fear.

IT’S another dispiriting working week, but don’t just shove a ready meal down and watch telly. These deceptively simple recipes will swallow the whole evening.

DO you enjoy being a martyr about eating vegetables? Here are five of the most disgusting varieties to consume because you have a masochistic streak a mile wide.

MACARONI cheese is not gourmet food that should be served at restaurants but a last resort meal that comes from a can at the back of a cupboard.

A MAN’S dinner tasted like shit after he decided to improve the recipe by throwing in random ingredients.

A PIZZA delivery man has finally quit his job after not having sex with a single customer during his decade-long career.

MIDDLE-CLASS families facing a hit to their finances will get vouchers for Charlie Bigham pies in order to help them through the summer.

A TUB of Lurpak in a family fridge has almost reached the stage of being officially half-butter, half-toast crumbs, it has emerged.