Food

DOING your online supermarket shop? It’s your duty as a consumer to buy all these foods that satisfy your aspirations but you won’t eat.

THE hardest part of going vegan during January is not being a complete and utter pain in the arse about it, it has emerged.

THE future is looking bright for a child who has the skill and confidence to tip crisp crumbs into his mouth, it has been confirmed.

BEEN given a fiver’s worth of food to last a child a week? Let me Julian Cook, a sneering contemptuous pedant who defends the government at every turn, explain how.

SUPERMARKETS are suffering fresh food shortages. So that’s another benefit of Brexit. Leave voter Steve Malley explains the dangers of fresh fruit and veg.

A MAN enraged by an advert for Creme Eggs with two men kissing has embarked on a mission to find a chocolate egg that better represents his steadfast heterosexuality.

LONGING for the simpler days of bell-bottom trousers, disco and good Star Wars films? Remind yourself how bad things actually were in the 70s with these godforsaken meals.

AN unbearable man is referring to his hastily thrown together middle of the day meal as his 'lunch game'.

DOCTORS have issued a public health warning the public that doing Dry Veganuary in a national lockdown is not achievable.

A WOMAN who badly needs a cup of tea to get anything done is unable to make one because she needs one so badly.