Food

A WOMAN who watched her boyfriend snap spaghetti in half before putting it in the pan is wondering how else he will turn out to be a monstrous philistine.

NUTRITIONISTS have agreed that consumption of a single piece of fruit means that any junk food or alcohol ingested subsequently is biologically null and void.

EVERY area of both a child and the house he lives in has been found to be covered in Nutella, his parents have confirmed.

SUGAR, lemon and basic batter is all that's needed for the perfect pancake. However, some people love to f**k around trying to be clever about it. Here are the worse ways to mess up Pancake Day.

BRITONS have lashed out at pizza manufacturers who tell them to spread out the toppings themselves, which is clearly not their responsibility.

A TAKEAWAY restaurant wrongly believes itself capable of preparing high-quality Italian, American, Turkish and Chinese food simultaneously.

THE abundance of vegan food options now available means that removing the deliciousness of meat is just the start of ruining a meal. Here are some ideas.

WE’RE constantly being told how great comfort food is, especially during lockdown. But how does it fare against actual problems?

THE UK is set for a full economic recovery after reports came in of some mad bastard buying a f**king Easter egg.

FEEDING your kids five tomato-based dishes definitely counts as their five a day. At least you hope it does, or they’re getting rickets. Follow this guide.