Food

THE winner of The Great British Bake Off will leave humanity to work in Mr Kipling’s underground cake catacombs.

CONSIDER yourself too good for normal meals because you read the recipes in The Guardian? Then you’ll love these needlessly complicated versions of basic food.

SO concerned about strangers judging your masculinity that even ordering coffee is a minefield? Worried a pumpkin spice latte could turn you gay? Order these.

A WOMAN baking a cake using a recipe she found online cannot understand why Americans think a ‘cup’ is a rational unit of measurement.

DO food banks only encourage a dependency culture, but you’re compelled to support them by peer pressure? Daily Mail reader Donna Sheridan explains how to donate grudgingly.

PEOPLE who insist on using a French accent to order a pastry in a British cafe have confessed that they enjoy being unbearably pretentious.

CONVINCED that healthier eating habits will turn your life around? Here are five poncey foodstuffs to include in your diet that will leave you feeling completely famished.

A MAN experienced a profound and unfamiliar rush of emotion after being confronted with the sight of a dropped doner kebab.

A GUARDIAN reader has offended a Northern town after visiting a branch of Greggs and asking for a steak bake to be cooked medium rare. 

A VEGETARIAN is definitely, completely sure that there is no problem with you eating your medium-rare steak while sat opposite them, you dick.