Celebrity

THE stars of Mrs Brown’s Boys are accumulating as much money as possible before their audience sobers up and realises the show is an abomination.

BRITAIN has suggested that if the Queen wants to avoid tax she could at least do up her own house with her own money.

ED SHEERAN'S right arm has broken itself in a desperate attempt to save the world from his music.

CHAT show host James Corden has confirmed that he is ‘truly sorry’ about his personality.

JACOB Rees-Mogg is to adopt Fall frontman Mark E Smith after mistaking him for a Manchester street urchin, it has emerged.

A MAN who has Morrissey’s lyrics tattooed on his body is finally starting to realise the former Smiths frontman is an arsehole.

A RABBIT has thanked Hugh Hefner for making people think he is a sex symbol, not just a boring herbivore.

IF IT’S true that you can judge a society by how it treats its elderly, then it’s equally true that you can judge a liberal country by how it treats its total arseholes.

A MATRONLY Bake Off fan is questioning everything she knew about herself after realising she is attracted to a man who dresses like a lady.

BRITAIN is celebrating the royal pregnancy in the traditional way with nauseating tabloid headlines and inane daytime TV speculation.