Celebrity

Daniel Craig cannot find anything better than Bond at local Jobcentre Plus

ACTOR Daniel Craig has discovered that playing James Bond is better than almost every other job.

Kate Middleton grows fringe to hide Dead Kennedys tattoo

THE Duchess of Cambridge has grown out her hair to hide the Dead Kennedys tattoo on her right temple.

Queen records Jeremy Corbyn diss track

THE Queen is escalating her beef with Jeremy Corbyn by recording a blistering diss track.

Vlogger puzzled by how she makes money from this crap

A VIDEO blogger is baffled by how she makes large sums of money from her trivial and amateurish YouTube videos.

Queen wants ‘no fuss’ in case people realise what a massive blag it all is

THE Queen wants her jubilee celebrations kept low-key in case people realise the royal thing is a huge scam.

Queen can kill a man with one finger

THE Queen is a lethal human weapon trained by Shaolin monks, it has been confirmed.

Samantha Cameron named best-dressed woman by women who dress like that

SAMANTHA Cameron has been placed at the top of Vanity Fair's Best-Dressed list by women uncomfortable in everything.

Richard Littlejohn in S & M relationship with binmen

DAILY Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn is in a sadomasochistic master-slave relationship with his binmen, he has admitted.

Woman marries Ant and Dec

A WOMAN unknowingly married Ant and Dec in a polygamous wedding ceremony in Newcastle.

Kate’s scuba certificate part of elaborate escape plan

THE Duchess of Cambridge is planning a daring escape from the Royal Family involving a faked shark attack and a mini submarine.