Celebrity

FORMER Sex Pistol John Lydon has dismayed fans with his support for Donald Trump. Here he explains how to make the transition from edgy punk rebel to ageing pub bore.

AS we approach Remembrance Sunday, virtue-signalling communists have been asking me why I, popular actor Laurence Fox, wear a poppy.

PAUL McCartney has a new album out, so expect to see a lot more of him. Here the former Beatle explains how to get more annoying over the years. 

A WOMAN giving herself a motivational pep talk in the mirror has accidentally summoned Morrissey.

FAMOUSLY private person Rebekah Vardy is to haltingly reveal the terrible pain Colleen Rooney caused her and the scars she bears, in a spangly leotard, on ice.

JOE Wicks has put on eight stone since ending his daily lockdown exercise sessions and is in no way ready to start them up again.

NEED Covid advice? Fortunately two of the most well-known rock stars of yesteryear, Noel Gallagher and Ian Brown, are here to join intellectual forces and tell it like it is.

FROGMORE Cottage has been listed on holiday rental service AirBNB, it has emerged.

A MIDDLE-AGED father was thrilled to be able to inform his children that he personally has never heard of a popular young celebrity.

THE younger members of the Royal Family now feel it was a mistake to book a holiday together in a small caravan in Wales, it has emerged.