Celebrity

THE QUEEN is to return to work as a truck mechanic as she did during the war, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.

YES, I moved my Corona-hit family to Devon, but I needed to be safe so I could annoy you with my creative and crafty tips. Here’s how to ensure your self-isolation is a jolly old time.

HI, I’m big-haired idiot Tim Martin. When I’m not running crap pubs I’m being awful to my staff. Here’s how to be an absolute bellend like me.

THE Queen has admitted she is already bored wandering around the same old lavish 1820s state apartments again and again.

HEY. I’m an Arsenal midfielder who must remain anonymous currently self-isolating due to the risk of having contracted coronavirus. Here’s how I’m getting through it.

I LEFT the monarchy in the ultimate feminist act of telling my husband what to do. This is how to celebrate International Women’s Day by being independent and a princess.

HARRY and Meghan are back in the UK to smile, wave and nick all the things they forgot first time around. But what are they? 

THE Queen has informed the Duke of Sussex that Royals the king-sized cigarettes are more royal than he and his tart will ever be.

THE Duke and Duchess of Sussex have been barred from using their Sussex Royal trademark by the Queen. What brands could they use instead?

PEPPA Pig’s voice actor has been replaced by an unknown, to the outrage of the great British stage actors who auditioned and failed. Here they are.