Celebrity

EXPLAINING to a baby that, as a second division member of the Royal Family, his life will be gilded and purposeless isn’t easy. Here’s the advice I’ll give him.

BRITONS queueing for vaccines are livid that the less-deserving are jumping the queue while they sit at home waiting for letters like idiots. Who are you most angry about?

THE Queen is strictly neutral on all matters political, except for when she chooses not to be. Here are five of the thousand laws Her Majesty has vetted for parliament.

THE Duchess of Cambridge has confessed she is exhausted by parenting under lockdown. Here is her average day.

AN ardent Brexiter is appalled by what an absolute disaster Megxit has turned out to be.

THE sentence ‘Gwyneth fanny candle explosion’ is one that makes perfect sense to people in the dystopia of 2021.

READY to put some distance between yourself and the shitstorm you enabled? Let me Piers Morgan, the irritant in Susanna Reid’s peripheral vision, tell you how.

COULD you be Mr Right for the newly single billionaire businesswoman model? Find out with our quiz.

ALL the celebrities who once tweeted ‘we’re in this together’ are sunning themselves in Mexico and Dubai like the wankers they are, it has emerged.

OUR brains had a lot to process this year so if your nightmares have involved some pretty weird shit, you’re not alone.