Celebrity

IT IS true that I have declined all opportunity to be interviewed by New York’s Finest. Because this Prince is one perp no NYPD Blue can break.

INTERESTED in trading C-list status for being an instant right-wing hero and truth-teller? I’ve done it, and so can you by following these tips:

HARRY and Meghan’s withdrawal from the Royal family has hurt me, a member of the media, personally. And I will not rest until they have no security and have been kidnapped by Isis. 

AN idiot has convinced himself that life will be difficult for the Duke of Sussex from this point on. 

ARE you determined to waste your life following the problems of two very rich people you don’t know? You might be one of the following idiots.

HOWEVER hard you’ve tried as a father you’re still nowhere near as great as Thomas Markle, the official world’s greatest dad. Here’s how to be like him.

DESPERATE for your house to smell like Hollywood pussy but can’t afford £58 for Gwyneth Paltrow’s signature product?

THE Queen is reportedly ‘in pieces’ after being forced to abandon her dream of everyone in her family doing exactly as they are told forever.

YESTERDAY’S Royal face-off was as emotionally charged as Christmas Day at the Queen Vic. Here’s how it went down.

THE Queen has told Prince Harry that if his wife is a demon who tricked him into marriage to enslave him then everyone would understand.