Celebrity

THE Duchess of Cambridge celebrates her 40th birthday on Sunday, and our grateful nation is wondering if now is the time to replace her.

HAVING pioneered moves like ‘I don’t sweat’ and ‘she lives in Australia’, the legal world is agog to see what genius loophole the innocent Prince Andrew will exploit next.

THE UK has enjoyed a memorable Christmas, with the exception of the hundreds of thousands self-isolating and the Queen’s second son.

THE Duchess of Cambridge is to clumsily play Chopsticks on the piano at Westminster Abbey tonight, it has been confirmed.

TABLOIDS love a story about a former pop star in reduced circumstances. But it wouldn’t be the least surprising to see these fronting up the loo roll.

STAYING in a job you hate can be bad for your mental health, so just quit. That’s what I did and here’s how you can too.

YOU’LL never know what it was like in the mid-00s. The torture we were put through. The unimaginable horror. But, as It threatens to return, I’ll try to explain.

THE cancellation of I’m A Celebrity has proven once and for all that Wales is more hostile to human life than the deep Australian jungle.

LIKE Luke Skywalker, we must all follow our destiny, whatever the risks, whatever the personal cost. My path was not the Force but ITV’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.

EVERY publication of record in the UK must have plans in place for when the inevitable happens. Here is how the Daily Mash will observe the tragic loss of Mr Blobby.