Celebrity

The celebs guaranteed to be flogging some kind of Christmas shite right about now

IT'S the start of November, which is practically Christmas Day, so famous faces are lining up to flog their festive tat. Here are some you can guarantee will have ‘Christmas product’ out.

'God prays to me for advice': Excerpts from Bono's new autobiography

BONO is promoting Surrender, his autobiography describing his life via the songs of U2. Might it be the tiniest bit self-important? Read these selected excerpts and decide for yourself.

Heart-throbs of your youth you'd still do now

SOME celebrities have aged so badly you wonder how they ever ended up on your bedroom wall. But some have earned the accolade of still being totally shaggable by a nobody like you. Such as these.

Truss and Charles deserve each other, nation agrees

THE UK has agreed that their idiot free-market zealot prime minister and their spoilt eco-warrior king thoroughly deserve each other’s company.

Moaning about buildings: Things Charles is going to have to jack in now he's King

AND so the boy has become a man. At the tender age of 74, Prince Charles is now King Charles. But that means leaving behind his earlier obsessions in his important new role as meaningless figurehead.

Free ride's over, press tells Meghan

BRITAIN’S Royal-loving press have informed the Duchess of Sussex that her little criticism-exempt free ride ends right f**king now.

Five ways the queue is not uniquely British

THE three-mile queue for the Queen's lying-in-state is not as British as everyone says it is. Here’s why.

Stephen Fry and Dame Emma Thompson named among national treasures to be buried with Queen

NATIONAL treasures including Stephen Fry and Emma Thompson have received the ultimate honour of being chosen to be buried with the Queen.

Be tipsy throughout: Strategies for getting through the next five days

EVERYTHING is weird and it’s only going to get worse for the next few days. Here’s how to cope.

Britain salutes Queen by queuing

THE UK has honoured the late Queen Elizabeth with a magnificent display of the nation’s favourite activity, queuing.