Celebrity

THE Queen has officially announced that she cannot be arsed doing all that bollocks any more.

WRITER and chef Jack Monroe is despised by Britain’s many reactionary bastards. Here’s why she and other celebrities are on their confusing hate lists.

LOSING your hair? Thinking you might be able to make it work like these five gorgeous guys who make male-pattern baldness hot?

ALL women are incredible in their own way and there’s space for every one of them to succeed. But which one’s best according to 55-year-old joiner Roy Hobbs?

STAYING indoors to avoid a dangerous storm is an idea most people will agree with. Here are five tiresome contrarians who will go out of their way to be different.

THE Queen is absolutely brilliant in every way and has never done anything wrong, apart from the minor issue of raising her children.

NOW that Prince Andrew has settled in the Virginia Guiffre case, royalist sycophants have gone into strange contortions defending the Duke. So what feeble excuses have they come up with?

PEOPLE who have just settled a sexual assault case are not welcome at jubilee celebrations. This is how Prince Andrew will mark the occasion.

JUSTICE has prevailed and thanks to a very large sum of money I have been proven innocent. But it’s easy to forget the real victim in all this: me.

DIVORCE is a uniquely stressful and emotional time, so why not take lessons from a narcissistic multi-millionaire with a god complex?