Celebrity

DO you share a birthday with the Queen? Here’s how to celebrate in wild style today, just like Elizabeth II.

BRITAIN is facing an unprecedented constitutional crisis after a Warwickshire man admitted finding Meghan more attractive than the future Queen.

THE Queen brought out the most tatty and unpleasant dinnerware in Windsor Castle for the visit of non-royals Meghan and Harry, it has been confirmed.

A NETFLIX documentary has exposed Jimmy Savile’s worryingly close relationship with the Royal Family. Here Prince Charles reveals he is still astonished at how events transpired.

I’M sorry. You deserved better than the contusions and swelling I inflicted upon you. You did not deserve that inflammation. I did not want to be that man.

YESTERDAY’S Academy Awards have forced us all to confront the ever-present risk that Will Smith could, from nowhere, slap you across the face. Here’s how to dodge it.

AFTER getting in one little fight, Will Smith’s mum got scared and moved him to his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air, it has been confirmed.

BACK then they were iconoclastic counter-culture heroes. Now they’re decrepit and embarrassing. These five are sad testaments to your vanished youth.

THE Horned One here. That documentary about Jeremy Kyle confirmed he’s one of mine, and we’ve a very special show lined up for him. Here’s the running order.

ALRIGHT? Rod here, raspy-voiced 70s singing sensation most recently seen shovelling gravel into potholes. And I’ll also do all this municipal shit.