Celebrity

TOMMY Robinson is in the shit again after losing a libel case against a bullied Syrian teenager. Class. With his extensive knowledge of English law, here he answers your legal questions.

PRINCE Harry has revealed his forthcoming memoir will mainly be about his sex life and shooting the Taliban, with a self-help bit at the end to keep the wife happy.

ENGLAND fans depressed after yesterday’s loss have remembered yesterday also saw the country put the first twat in space.

AFTER beating the Queen to become the most adored person in the country, the England manager can leave these activities to lesser beings.

THE newly-unveiled statue of Princess Diana is a bit too much, Britain has agreed.

THERE'S nothing the country’s most popular hate rag enjoys more than a Diana story. Here’s how its soulless hacks will misinterpret the statue unveiling to fit its agenda.

ENGLAND triumphed over Germany because of the incredible combination of Ed Sheeran, David Beckham and seven-year-old Prince George, according to the media.

PROFESSOR Chris Whitty has discovered an even more dickheaded Covidiot variant while walking through a London park, he has confirmed.

CELEBRITY? Had a baby? Keen to make it an accessory to your glittering life, rather than allowing it an identity of its own? Follow our naming guide.

SHE’S been born and she’s got a name, but what else do we know about the eighth in line to the throne? Here’s every spurious factoid pulled out of our arse to keep you happy.