Celebrity

SO I’ve been reading the papers, giving it all this about my boy Andrew and I was all set to get in the car and go down to that Fleet Street and ask some of them editors outside. 

PRINCE Andrew has defended himself against charges of sexual abuse by asserting that for three years he was solely resident in a Surrey pizza restaurant.

ARE you unsure whether you might be the former England skipper Wayne Rooney? Here are some telltale signs you might be him.

WHILE Covid has made heroes of some, it's forced several celebrities into becoming raving lunatics. Here are the worst.

TOMMY Robinson is in the shit again after losing a libel case against a bullied Syrian teenager. Class. With his extensive knowledge of English law, here he answers your legal questions.

PRINCE Harry has revealed his forthcoming memoir will mainly be about his sex life and shooting the Taliban, with a self-help bit at the end to keep the wife happy.

ENGLAND fans depressed after yesterday’s loss have remembered yesterday also saw the country put the first twat in space.

AFTER beating the Queen to become the most adored person in the country, the England manager can leave these activities to lesser beings.

THE newly-unveiled statue of Princess Diana is a bit too much, Britain has agreed.

THERE'S nothing the country’s most popular hate rag enjoys more than a Diana story. Here’s how its soulless hacks will misinterpret the statue unveiling to fit its agenda.