Celebrity

NATIONAL treasures including Stephen Fry and Emma Thompson have received the ultimate honour of being chosen to be buried with the Queen.

EVERYTHING is weird and it’s only going to get worse for the next few days. Here’s how to cope.

THE UK has honoured the late Queen Elizabeth with a magnificent display of the nation’s favourite activity, queuing.

A VILE traitor and sack of shit has asked why being a senior royal is always described as a ‘burden’ given their tendency to thrive to a ripe old age.

HIGH-PROFILE celebrity feuds dominate media, social media, and the inside of morons' heads. You couldn't care less about these.

THE UK has agreed that the perfect way for King Charles to honour his late mother would be to abdicate.

A COLD-HEARTED turncoat has consumed a slice of toast with Lurpak instead of remaining in front of the TV for updates about the Queen.

AS autumn arrives, the time has come to reflect on the bizarre crushes you’ve allowed yourself a wank to during this turbulent year.

HOLLYWOOD heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio is back on the market, but have you passed too many of life's milestones to date him?

LORD Sugar, an unbiased impartial BBC employee and billionaire business wanker, details the pointless bullshit he fills every day with.