Celebrity

JEREMY Clarkson has listened to the backlash. He has learnt. And he will move on to hating these other people who also all happen to be women.

MY hatred of Meghan that’s cellular and keeps me awake at night has no connection, I can categorically state, with my non-functioning penis.

THE Prince and Princess of Wales have confirmed they are as evil as Meghan and Harry claim and that is only the half of it.

TODAY’S music stars do a plethora of questionable things, but we indulge them because they’re pretty. Here are some of the worst, and fittest, offenders.

THE UK has suggested that perhaps both Harry and Megan and the Royal family could, for the good of the whole nation, shut the f**k up.

I’M A Celebrity runner-up Matt Hancock will step down as an MP at the next election. What does the future hold for the man whose only crime was loving too much? Apart from killing people in care homes.

KING Charles has exploded, the Prince of Wales is on fire and Prince George has been declared a biohazard after the release of Harry and Meghan’s documentary.

HARRY and Meghan have graciously stepped up to take the place in the public’s hearts that was once reserved for Katie Price and Peter Andre.

ARE you a brainwashed follower of some of the worst people in the world, parasitically leeching off their dubious success? Here are some truly tragic fanbases. 

CELEBRITY memoirs are a rare, candid glimpse into their carefully-edited lives. Here are the juicy details they always sadly omit.