Celebrity

CHARLIE Dimmock, a gardener, is one of the many people Britain was briefly enamoured with for reasons that escape it now. Nobody is willing to admit to their passion for all these.

‘WELSH songbird’ Charlotte Church has announced she is no longer a millionaire. Clearly growing up was a poor career choice that should have been avoided, as she and these other celebs discovered.

A BARMAN at a London club has just found out the five pissed women he watched howl their way through a song was in fact a momentous 90s reunion.

THE children of two of The Beatles attempted to cash in by releasing a terrible single together. Which other nepo-babies are busily ruining their parents’ good names?

HI! I’m attractive, famous and went to Oxford so I can do no wrong, even when making wild and it transpires incorrect assumptions in tweets. I also opine on these subjects.

VIEWERS are divided over the latest series of Masterchef, in which judge Greg Wallace assesses dishes after having sexual intercourse with them.

RIGHT now they’re sexy, dangerous and beloved by the youth. In less than 30 years they’ll be exploiting it to appeal to a middle-aged Radio 2 audience.