Celebrity

It's true, I work evenings in Sainsbury's, says Kate

PRINCESS Kate has confirmed that, as a new book claims, she is indeed only a part-time royal and works evenings in Sainsbury’s.

Fit celebrities whose political views you could probably overlook

MANY celebrities have tediously earnest political views that would be off-putting in someone less attractive. Here are some whose ramblings you could probably live with.

Sarah Ferguson, and other 80s wanks you're keeping quiet about

DID Fergie’s appearance on This Morning bring back unpleasant memories of mentally ploughing the same furrow as Andy back in 1986? Keep these passions hidden.

Wim Hof's tips for surviving when your dad refuses to put the heating on

ICE-LOVING Dutchman Wim Hof has survived the coldest locations on Earth, but could he last a winter in a draughty house in Hounslow with a cheapskate dad?

Vernon Kay and other celebrities you're amazed are still allowed to be celebrities

FAME is a notoriously fickle mistress, so how come these faded glories are still technically classed as celebrities?

Your brother's mate Kev named Sexiest Man Alive 2023

KEVIN, a friend of your brother, has been named the sexiest man on earth for 2023, beating Chris Hemsworth, Timothée Chalamet and Idris Elba.

Queen back next

THE Queen will be the next high-profile individual to amaze the public by returning to their old job, it has been confirmed.

First Holly now Carol, sob bereaved, horny dads

FATHERS still mourning the loss of Holly Willoughby from their screens are devastated to learn they have now been robbed of Carol Vorderman as well.

Prince William bitten by radioactive baby

THE heir to the throne has been bitten by a radioactive baby and now has the powers of a baby, it has emerged.

Gen Z celebrities explained for blissfully ignorant middle-aged people

IS your child thrilled because a celeb you've never heard of liked their comment on a social media platform you didn't know existed? It’s time to end your shameful ignorance.