A MAN in his early 30s has chosen the perfect tattoo to let the world know how trite and conventional he is. 

32-year-old James Bates, who likes a few drinks here and there, loves watching ‘the footie’ at weekends and tried cocaine once but it wasn’t for him, got the double-F logo of his favourite band on his shoulder so nobody would be in any doubt.

Bates, who holds an office job in a Midlands town, said: “I’ve always liked rock music, and the basic, unthreatening sound of the Foos really speaks to me. Also Grohl is a nice man.

“So when everyone else had tattoos and they began to be safe as well as cool, I knew it had to be the Foo Fighters corporate branding which everyone recognises so there’s no confusion.”

Girlfriend Charlotte Phelps, who you guessed it loves Taylor Swift and says ‘doggos’, admitted she was concerned. She said: “It does look a bit Nazi and they were meant to be bad.

“Plus I was concerned it might jeopardise our position as the most generic white couple anyone in our friend group knows. That’s what makes us stand out.

“Luckily James got the tattoo on his upper arm so it’s always covered. Because as he said, there’s a time and a place to express your individuality and it’s not during working hours.”