Arts & Entertainment

IT’S weird to glance at someone’s phone and realise they’re watching hardcore porn on the number 16 to Leek. Here are the burning questions you will not ask.

EVERY teenager goes through a period of being far too into entirely the wrong band. These are the musical dead-ends 14-year-old you believed you would follow forever.

OUR society is based on the foundation that everyone has seen certain films and understands references to them. Without that? Chaos. You must have watched these.

HIGH streets are hotbeds of X-rated raunchy filth if you know where to look. Father of two Bill McKay takes you on a guided tour of the smut they contain.

A NEW Ant-Man film is out this weekend, which will only be watched because it is part of a series and February. Nobody cares about him or these losers.

FANCY a trip to the seaside to blow the cobwebs away? Here are some tips for a cold and miserable day out.

WERE you sat in front of educational, wholesome Blue Peter while your friends enjoyed Rude Dog and the Dweebs? You probably had to watch these other dull BBC shows too.

MUSIC producers quickly realised children and pre-teens were a lucrative market thanks to people known as ‘parents’. Here are some of the crap acts that were the result.

LOOKING to turn tonight’s cosy Valentine’s evening at home into frenzied, depraved rutting with a curated selection of sex jams? Best avoid these.

A WOMAN mid-intercourse with her partner is wondering if it will be over in time for her to catch the last 20 minutes of QI.