Arts & Entertainment

NEW Today presenter Evan Davis is to interview Gordon Brown next week, as both share a relaxing, honey-scented bath.

GLASTONBURY ticket sales have slumped this year after thousands of fans decided not to pay £155 to shit in a ditch.

YOUNG alternative comedians are too scared to write third-rate musicals with Andrew Lloyd Webber, Ben Elton said last night.

ACTOR Kevin Spacey is to celebrate one of his most famous roles by hosting BBC1's latest amateur talent show, I am Keyser Soze.

CHINESE web users were celebrating yesterday after government censors granted them access to the BBC’s unrivalled internet archive of unusual animal stories and idiotic health scares. 

THE role-playing video game Manhunt 2 has finally been cleared for release after producers agreed to remove all references to tobacco.

CLAIMS that it would be impossible to cram the 608-page Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into just one film were last night believed by absolutely no-one.

GERMAN television is to show the wartime sitcom Allo, Allo with its raft of comedy catchphrases including: "I will say zis only once: round up all ze men in the village, and machine gun zem into a ditch."

THE worlds of politics and showbiz came together last night to pay tribute to Britain's greatest purveyor of mucky books.

RADIOHEAD will only sleep with groupies who can produce a valid bus ticket to prove they used public transport to get to the after show orgy, the band said last night.