Arts & Entertainment

CHANNEL Four last night said it had taken the 'extremely difficult' decision to put the latest batch of Big Brother housemates to sleep.

SINGER Amy Winehouse is launching an attempt on the world drug-bender record to raise money for a Ugandan primary school. 

RECORD numbers of movie-goers across Britain are queuing up to be bombarded with giant lumps of three dimensional faeces.

THE new Sony PS3 games console will suck more of your existence into a vortex of pointlessness than the Nintendo Wii and the X-Box put together, the company promised last night.

RADIOHEAD'S pledge to stop making albums will save thousands of lives a year, experts claimed last night.

BRITAIN will become 68 per cent more pleasant as the Edinburgh Fringe draws in the country's pathologically self-absorbed bastards for the next three weeks.

DR WHO producer Russell T Davies has once again reminded the show's ardent fans that it is actually for children.

A NEW reality TV show will follow 10 reality TV producers around for three months to discover what on earth goes on in their minds.

LARS Von Trier's sexually-explicit horror film Antichrist is brilliant and is being attacked by people who probably haven't even seen it, according to a man who hasn't seen it.

THE winner of this year's Mercury Music prize will be be given some money to go away and write an actual tune, it has been confirmed.