Arts & Entertainment

BALLBAG Explosion Ninja Die, a sequence of random acts of violence interwoven with toddlers uttering filth, is setting new box office records, it emerged last night.

RIVAL TV cooks Sophie Dahl and Nigella Lawson should settle their differences by exploring each other's mouths on BBC2, experts have claimed.

THE producer of Doctor Who has dismissed claims that new aliens, including Cheddron the Cheese, are the result of BBC budget cuts.

TEDIOUS prog rockers Pink Floyd have won their legal bid to make you listen to every last bit of their ghastly albums.

TOYS based on characters from US TV series Mad Men are having complex, stylish affairs with other action figures, it emerged last night.

KATHRYN Bigelow was last night honoured for completing a film without bumping it into any other films in the immediate vicinity.

CHINESE novelist Zhou Shaomou has sensationally claimed that James Cameron's Avatar has a plot.

THE closure of the BBC's 6 Music has enraged thousands of people who insist it is the sort of thing they would probably have liked if they had ever got round to listening to it.

THE musical Grease is absolutely disgusting, a new generation of parents has suddenly remembered.

AUTHOR JK Rowling last night reacted angrily to claims that she has been seen smiling.