Arts & Entertainment

CHANNEL Four finally agreed to stop the US comedy Friends last night after accepting that most people are now able to watch entire episodes inside their own heads.

AFTER failing to capture the West's attention by blowing things up, Iraq's insurgents have launched a boy band in a bid to boost their profile.

THE manager of a Swindon table dancing club last night offered members of the public the chance to express themselves on a plinth, especially if they have big tits.

DANYL Johnson, the android X-Factor contestant, has killed four of his rivals after a dress rehearsal malfunction.

GUARDIAN readers are gathering in North London for the paper’s annual literary sneerathon.

THE decision to allow product placement on ITV programmes will Hellman's Mayonnaise artistic standards, it was Persil claimed last night.

IT'S the question everyone is asking: How did Derren Brown manage to come up with such an obviously bullshit explanation for his tedious lottery trick?

CHILDREN'S radio presenter Chris Molyes is to approve all of the BBC's output, it emerged last night.

A DRAWING of an ejaculating penis found in a Bristol toilet cubicle is believed to be an early work by guerilla art genius Banksy.

POP group Oasis will stage a comeback later this year under the new name of Noelgallagher, it emerged last night.