Arts & Entertainment

MILLIONS of pop fans were in shock yesterday as the re-release of Three Lions killed music like a dog in the street.

DOCTOR Who fans across Britain are facing the prospect of leaving their homes and talking to other people.

BROADCASTERS have been flooded by complaints from viewers unable to stop imagining Delia Smith and Heston Blumenthal going at it.

THE Sex And The City franchise was secretly conceived by Lars Von Trier as an exercise in existential horror, the Danish director has revealed.

KIEFER Sutherland is to reunite Hollywood's 'brat-pack' in a big-budget remake of Rainbow.

THE star of popular films such as Alsatian D'Amour and Goatse Rampage has admitted appearing on ITV's X-Factor.

THE BBC is to launch an ambitious £200m initiative which could eventually lead to it not interrupting every single one of its own television programmes.

POP sensations N-Dubz have become so incomprehensible to grown-ups that they can no longer see them, it emerged last night.

THE producers of the James Bond franchise have warned they may be forced to return to renaming the old films and hoping no-one notices.

POP impresario Simon Cowell was once again still very much alive last night.