Christmas

BRITAIN doesn’t mind being the victim of American cultural imperialism if it’s good stuff like The Wire. But some of their Christmas traditions are just too much for the average Brit.

THE media has warned that if your vehicle is not already stuck at the back of a 22-mile traffic jam then it is too late and you have missed Christmas.

A GLUT of predictable Christmas TV fare awaits viewers, so the channels could at liven it up with some explicit - but tasteful - nudity. Here’s which shows would be radically improved.

YOUR mother would like to know what you want to have a row about this Christmas so she can plan accordingly.

A GROUP of social media influencers are disappointed that their trip to a Christmas ‘experience’ is not hilariously awful enough to generate viral content.

WE’RE not the ones who ruin Christmas with our weird behaviour and by being out-of-touch dinosaurs - you’re the problem. Here’s why.

WE love them and know them, or at least a few lines before going blank. Here are Christmas carols rated by how many lines you can sing, from least to most.

THIS week I witnessed a disturbing scene. A young woman handed a small gift-wrapped parcel to another. ‘Merry Christmas, Suze!’ she said. ‘Thanks Emma!’ came the reply. I felt sick to the stomach.

BEEN invited for a Christmas drink at a new friend’s house? Here’s how to make sweeping judgements about their class and taste based entirely on their Christmas tree.

OFFICE workers heading out to get pissed after finishing for Christmas are distraught that a tedious prick of a colleague has decided to join them.