Christmas

A MAN has set out on an exhausting one-month trek through streets lined with wooden cabins selling overpriced tat.

THE UK has been ordered to get the f**king tree up, get the lights on and get bloody Christmassy. 

SEEING smug people fall over on an ice rink is the highlight of ‘Winter Wonderlands', it has been confirmed. 

ARE you a couple who think Christmas is mainly about demonstrating how much money you’ve got? Here are some ideas.

THE entire workforce of an office is poised to resign the second their Christmas bonus is paid, it has emerged.

YOU’VE already been press-ganged into the work Christmas party, now your family and friends are at it too. Here’s some of the festive punishment they’ve got lined up.

ARE you tempted to cram yourself into the airing cupboard on Boxing Day for some precious ‘me time’? Here are some other excellent places to get away from bastards.

BRITAIN’S mothers have yet again deceived their loved ones by claiming the roast potatoes will be crispy like the ones in food magazines.

SADLY even the most discerning Waitrose customer may be forced to attend a Christmas party hosted by the sort of people who shop at Iceland. Here’s what to expect.

A MAN is quietly annoyed that he still cannot start drinking in the morning for at least a few more days.