Christmas

A WOMAN has spent £50 on a candle that smells of wild figs, pomegranate and immense stupidity.

IT’S the season of goodwill - unless you’re a Daily Mail reader. Here’s how to make sure your Christmas is full of spite, resentment and fear of immigrants.

BRITAIN’S occasional smokers have set out how they intend to annoy the hell out of proper smokers during the festive season.

HAVE you ended up with yet another bit of useless old tat in your workplace Secret Santa? Here’s how to ditch it quickly.

WHETHER they’re staying over or just popping round, your weird relatives will be plaguing you this Christmas. Here are the worst offenders.

THE entire country is sure Christmas cannot be next f**king week, can it?

ANXIOUS middle class parents are making a last ditch bid to sell the idea of a plastic-free Christmas to their children.

ONE of the less popular Christmas traditions is receiving utterly weird tat from your slightly strange aunt. Here are some horrors to expect.

A MAN has set out on an exhausting one-month trek through streets lined with wooden cabins selling overpriced tat.

THE UK has been ordered to get the f**king tree up, get the lights on and get bloody Christmassy.