Sport

THE rulers of Afghanistan are to buy out Middlesbrough FC for £320 million, the Premier League has confirmed.

REMAINERS have admitted that unprecendented British sporting success the first summer after Brexit is not doing their cause any favours.

THERE are many reasons the education secretary could have confused Rashford and Itoje, and none of them were because they are both black. It was probably one of these:

RONALDO is an absolutely crap transfer for Manchester United who’ve proved what a total desperate mess they are, as fans of other teams explain.

WANT to annoy the hell out of people who don't give two shits that the football season has started again? Try these tactics.

ENGLAND play in the Euro 2024 final shortly, but 60-year-old fan Normal Steele explains that it is not real football compared to when he was a boy.

SOME football shirts indicate that you’re a twat from a mile off. If you’re a fan of one of these clubs know that you’re judged by everyone.

THE UK has proudly proclaimed that its Olympic heroes mean it is a major world power, while ignoring empty supermarket shelves.

IS 13-year-old Olympic skateboarder Sky Brown making you feel like a withered old husk? It won’t help that she has no memory of these landmark events.

EVERYONE loves the Olympics when you can watch it on telly with a glass of wine and a pizza. But do you remember the trauma of actually doing sport at school? Here are the low points.