Sport

ENGLAND’S record-breaking 8-0 win against Norway would be the headline of every newspaper for twelve months if it had been the men’s team.

THE Women's Euro 2022 is here, leaving many men bewildered and intimidated. Here old school sexist Roy Hobbs explains what it's all about.

BRITISH people ignore tennis all year until Wimbledon rolls around, but why? These are the real reasons behind their fickle obsession.

THE UK has realised it would be balls-deep in a World Cup summer right now if the tournament had not been awarded to f**king Qatar.

PITCH invaders at football games have discovered that the pitch is no more than a large grassed oblong with white lines painted on it.

A PRESTON North End supporter has stressed his enduring hatred of Blackpool FC has nothing to do with its pioneering out gay player.

A MAN has looked back at his life and concluded that all of the achievements he is proudest of came while playing simulations of managing football teams.

THINK you’re sporty because you once beat your dad at arm-wrestling? No sport you can do after eight pints really counts as a true athletic endeavour.

FOOTBALL fans love nothing more than running their support past the Guardian to check they’re meeting its ethical standards. Where does your club stand?

AN already aggressive child is taking lessons in how to punch and kick people more effectively.