Sport

FATHERS attending their children’s annual sports day were appalled that the purpose of the event appeared to be enjoyment rather than fierce competitiveness.

ORDINARY people who do not give the slightest bugger about tennis are nonetheless rejoicing in Djokovic’s dramatic loss yesterday.

THE famous people in the crowd at Wimbledon are always incredibly bland and well-behaved. Which 'edgy' celebrities would liven things up a bit?

JUST Stop Oil protestors have been told to get their knobs out or flash some tits if they are going to disrupt Wimbledon.

THE MCC has offered Australia a full apology after remembering that cricket is all the nation has to offer the world.

AN independent report has concluded that cricket is largely played by wanker posh boys and is therefore bad in all the ways that posh wankers are always bad.

FOOTBALL fans in the United Arab Emirates have been told to put their club affiliations aside and back Manchester City to bring it home for Sheikh Mansour tonight.

A FOOTBALL fan acts like his team is a force for moral good rather than a bunch of ruthless mercenaries prepared to bend every rule in order to win.

THIS afternoon’s FA Cup final sees Manchester United face off against their even more evil negative self, Manchester City.

BRITISH, but strutting around in an Inter Milan shirt like you’re something special? Did you know your chosen garment also reveals what kind of twat you are?