FATHERS attending their children’s annual sports day were appalled that the purpose of the event appeared to be enjoyment rather than fierce competitiveness.
As stickers were dispensed to kids regardless of where they had placed in the sack race and the biggest cheers were reserved for the ones who finished last by a large margin, the assembled dads looked on with horror to a man.
Bill McKay said: “When I was at school, there were only two emotions allowed on sports day: crowing jubilation for the victors, and abject, humiliated despair for the losers, especially the fat ones.
“How are we supposed to compete with the Chinese in the coming trade wars if we instil these pathetic, inclusive values in our kids? You wouldn’t catch Xi Jinping telling someone they were a winner just for turning up.
“I tried to insert some competitive spirit into the mum’s and dad’s egg-and-spoon race but I got accused of cheating after one young mother ran very hard into my elbow and dropped her egg.
“However, somehow, despite my incredible athleticism and sporting prowess, I came second to last. I think some of the parents must have false started.
“The sooner VAR is rolled out across all primary school sports days, the better.”
