Society

Therapy an absolute must, say people it doesn't appear to have helped

PEOPLE who have not benefited from therapy insist it is something everybody should try, it has emerged.

The patriarchy and other things progressive young people assume you haven't heard of

YOUNG liberals are much more progressive than you because they're experts in these things, which they arrogantly assume you've never heard of.

Royal Tunbridge Wells, and other town names that can get the f**k over themselves

DO you live somewhere with a stupid and, frankly, poncy name? Here are six insufferably pretentious town names that need to get a grip on themselves.

Woman supporting local business by going to Starbucks down the road

A WOMAN who is keen to support her local economy does so by frequenting the Starbucks near her house.

The things other teenagers' parents all let them do, according to your teenager

YOUR teenage child has informed you that your parenting is senselessly restrictive compared to the parenting of their peers, who are allowed to do the following.

No entertainment as good as phone screen of stranger sat next to you

NO PIECE of entertainment can compete with whatever the stranger sitting next to you is looking at on their phone, it has been confirmed.

Bank asks customer to pop into closed branch with utility bill he doesn't have

A BANK has asked a customer to visit a branch that closed years ago with a utility bill he does not possess, it has emerged.

Psychopath expects adults to remain at child's birthday party

A MOTHER without pity or mercy expects other mums and dads to stay and celebrate her child's birthday party, it has emerged.

Britain calmly accepting train strikes as if trains had been f**ked for years

THE UK is offhandedly accepting frequent rail service closures as if they had been putting up with them as long as they remember.

F**king Brexit bastards determined to replicate the Blitz

THE idiot Brexit bastards who run our country will not be happy until they have replicated every aspect of life during World War Two.