Society

A POST office could be forced to close unless 83-year-old Roy Hobbs accepts that he doesn't have the correct documents to renew his car tax.  

STUDENT activists have warned politicians that they are prepared to unleash 90s crusty-rock favourites The Levellers in their battle against reality.

FORMER defence secretary Bob Ainsworth was today accused of backing the legalisation of drugs so that he can feed his insatiable desire for psychedelic freak-outs.

RECORD numbers of primary school children lack the basic skills to draw a serviceable cock and balls, according to new research.

DAILY Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn was in the throes of a powerful erection today as millions of people subjected him to a fresh batch of hate.  

FRUIT picked by northern people would have to be washed at least three times, southern people said last night.

SIMON Cowell has announced early release for prisoners who pledge to buy One Direction's debut CD, as he begins to overhaul Britain's statute book.

A MASSIVE, countrywide fist fight could be the solution to Britain's problems, experts believe.

BRITAIN is to abolish its 900 year-old university system after finally realising it is a complete waste of everyone's time.

PHOTOS of an obese cat in the throes of an endearing fatal heart attack have proved a huge hit on social media.