Society

BRITISH multiculturalism officially collapsed yesterday after Mrs Patel neglected to return a Catherine Cookson book belonging to her white neighbour, Margaret Gerving.

LAST year saw a record increase in the number of obvious lies about embarrassing surgery scars.

WOMEN should be entitled to half of their boyfriend's disgusting pile of crap in the event of a split, according to a landmark ruling.

BRITAIN is the angry, racist, old widower who lives in that decrepit house at the end of the street, the UN has confirmed.

YOUNG people's obsession with the internet could spell the end for traditional pastimes like watching Home and Away, according to new research.

THE government has unveiled a street by street crime map of the UK as part of a new initiative to keep you nicely terrified.

ED Miliband has ordered a digital calculator watch in a bid to reassure Britain he can steer it through economic turmoil.

A NEW television series has been hailed for portraying gypsies as being just as shallow, materialistic and celebrity-obsessed as mainstream society.

BRITAIN'S average standard of living will soon be no better than it was just over five years ago.

YOU are facing the sack today because you once said something about someone that some other people have decided to find offensive.