Society

MODERN magazines like Nuts lack the unpretentious honesty of Razzle and Knave, according to the prime minister.

READING is turning young people into homosexuals, it emerged last night.

A NEW high-level report on drug policy makes so much sense that people reading it have had to double check they are not off their tits.

THE people who make television programmes have admitted that they are subtly trying to make you continue watching it.

MENTAL health charities have condemned Christie's for allowing someone to pay over £5m for a child's drawing of a slum.

PRIDE of Britain the Daily Mail has today launched a new campaign for more people in the Third World to die in a ditch.

VINCE Cable has predicted another economic crash after reading about it in the newspapers.

SHOUTING obscenities while punching the dashboard makes traffic jams disappear, according to new research.

BRITAIN'S sexual health policy will be decided by 68-year-old spinster Margaret Gerving.

LAWYERS have been forced to cut the price of super-injunctions by up to 75 per cent after it emerged they do not really work.