Society

PUSH bike devotees are scheming to subjugate the Western world to their deity Shimano, it emerged last night.

TRANSPORT unions have been forced into a tactical rethink after it emerged a four year-old male chimpanzee is working on the Bakerloo line.

THE government is to overhaul road traffic enforcement to crack down on the sort of people who have no interest in elections.

MAX Mosley will have no idea when his bare bottom is about to be pummelled by a large, angry woman, pretending to be German.

RICH parents could soon be offered the chance to waste up to £100,000 buying Oxbridge degrees for their cretinous children.

THE 2011 Sunday Times Rich List is almost identical to the 2011 Sleazy List, it emerged last night.

THE hat worn by Princess Beatrice at the Royal Wedding has been offered its own chat show.

MIDDLE class people have asserted their right to feel smug about not having a television despite watching exactly the same shit on computers.

TERRIFYING numbers of people are going nuts on the streets of England because two people they've never met are getting married in a big church.

ACROSS the country, British people are readying themselves for a once-in-a-lifetime fridge-cleaning moment.