Society

THE commission studying London’s airport needs has been urged to consider no airports at all.

PEOPLE now in their 30s will spend their retirement fleeing from government robots programmed to kill old people.

BRITONS are having to visit neighbours because they have their Amazon stuff.

A 28-YEAR-OLD man had admitted preferring sexual intercourse with his partner to looking at porn on the internet.

ENGLISH people will continue to receive benefits even if they make no attempt to speak, read or write in English.

THE UK's students have arrived home to get their parents' internet working and end long-term relationships.

BRITAIN’S new food police will be able to name all eight varieties of edible bun.

THE writer of a Mail Online story about a 'baby mama' has said she once had dreams of doing something worthwhile.

YOUR regular Christmas card from a couple you've never met has arrived.

SURVIVORS of the London fog have revealed that 'some bad, freaky shit is happening in there'.