Society

TEENAGERS are refusing to start an era-defining subculture unless there's money involved.

MOST Britons will spend their pension pot on stupid, crazy stuff the very moment they get their hands on it.

BRITONS desperate to own homes are increasingly opting to live in Playstation games.

PEOPLE who drink sherry after a vigorous afternoon of paintball have demanded a tax cut.

BRITAIN is now fully abnormal after Bez, the Happy Mondays dancing man, decided to stand for Parliament.

WORKING humans are to receive financial assistance with the cost of breeding new additions to the labour pool.

THE 'thrupenny bit'-influenced £1 coin has left pensioners unable to shut up about how cheap everything used to be.

FAVOURING your left hand does not mean you are some sort of creative genius.

ASPIRATIONAL 40p-rate taxpayers can come to Pippa Middleton's wedding, George Osborne has announced.

THE government is being urged to quicken the pace at which it pisses away the HS2 budget.