Society

BRITAIN'S gyms have again become places of calm and spirituality, undisturbed by the general public.

ELECTRICAL goods specialist Maplin is a front for cottaging, it has emerged.

AVOID ever going outside, experts have warned.

A MAN who had a near-death experience has returned with a refreshingly detailed account of the afterlife.

PROVINCIAL cities have hailed the capital’s boom in knobhead jobs as the best thing that's ever happened to them.

MEN who believe they are alpha males are deluded, it has emerged.

INDIVIDUALS who achieve useful things have no interest in looking or smelling good, it has been confirmed.

LONDON’S Victoria tube line is once again full of people whose lives are solidifying slowly into a large grey slab.

THE 'citizen's arrest' is just a plot device from 80s TV series The Dukes of Hazzard, it has emerged.

YOUNG people have begun leaving Facebook in the hope of finding a better virtual life elsewhere.