Society

A MAN who looks like he travelled here in a brass time machine actually works in marketing, it has been confirmed.

INFANTS cry at night because they are little bastards, according to new research.

ANYONE who owns a pet snake is secretly begging for someone to stop them, psychologists have agreed.

HOME improvement enthusiasts are not doing anything that worthwhile, it has been claimed.

WATCHING television drama is more mind-expanding than reading contemporary fiction, it has been claimed.

SHOPS specialising in frozen yoghurt must be a cover for some form of criminal activity, it has been claimed.

MOST people in the UK are members of the not-really-middle-class class, research has revealed.

THE Oxford Dictionary of Twattery has announced this year's new entries including 'I have no filter', 'YOLO' and '[x] is in my DNA'.

A 42-YEAR-OLD male was chased by other middle-aged men after attending a party wearing a shirt that was not from Superdry.

DAVID Cameron has provoked fury after admitting he prefers chatting to people who are even vaguely like him.