ASPIRATIONAL 40p-rate taxpayers can come to Pippa Middleton’s wedding, George Osborne has announced.
After claiming that people like paying more tax because it makes them feel all posh, the chancellor confirmed that all middle-class people on the top rate could go to Pippa Middleton’s wedding.
Osborne said: “Pippa’s probably getting married this year and when she does anyone earning over £40k with no previous convictions can go.
“At least to the disco bit, not the service obviously that’s for proper people.
“It does not get more aspirational than that.”
Sociologist Nikki Hollis said: “Pippa is the spiritual figurehead of the anxious petty bourgeoisie, much as White Dee is to people on the dole.
“The government hopes this flimsy opportunity for social climbing and canape theft will quell the middle-management cadre’s ‘squeezed’ whining.
“Which it will, they’ll fucking love it.”