Society

GROWN-UPS should stop expecting to be treated as if they are special once a year, it has been claimed.

PROFESSIONAL careers advisors have admitted that their job is awful so they should probably shut up.

A TAX on kestrels belonging to underprivileged young boys is vital to Britain’s economic recovery, according to the prime minister.

LENT is bollocks, it has been confirmed.

AN ARGUMENT on the internet has been resolved to the satisfaction of both parties.

HAVING the children taken away for a bit is more important than having a house, according to parents.

POOR children are being given the three key middle class things as part of a government bid to improve them.

THE devil has announced a reduction in the fee paid for human souls.

PEOPLE in damaging relationships will stay together to get a third off rail travel, it has been claimed.

BORIS Johnson has unveiled his newest idea that could not possibly go wrong.