Society

THE virtue of wisdom has ended its affiliation with beards.

COUPLES with televisions in the bedroom enjoy better and more frequent sex by proxy, it has emerged.

EVERYONE who owns an Audi TT is living slightly beyond their means, it has emerged.

THOUSANDS of hen parties are preparing for raucous yet entirely fake fun.

FIRST-TIME buyers can now borrow unlimited money to buy a castle, George Osborne has confirmed.

TOOLS for cutting holes in fences cost much less than music festival tickets, it has emerged.

AN attractive young woman in a pretty summer dress is putting men and woman alike in a terrible mood.

BRITAIN has been invaded by millions of Bulgarians and Romanians, but no one can tell because they are all pretending to be Irish, Nigel Farage has claimed.

THE government has pledged to introduce free lunches for primary school children with traditional, right-wing values.

PLUMBER Roy Hobbs just has to nip off and get a part, it has emerged.