NICK Clegg has refused to resign as Lib Dem leader but has admitted he is absolutely shit at it.

The self-styled deputy prime minister said stepping down would be pointless and that he should continue even though he was probably going to get even worse.

He added: “I had the first vague inkling that I was very bad at this about two years ago when I realised I hadn’t made any difference to anything.

“But when I agreed to debate Nigel Farage about Europe, on television, I suddenly thought, ‘fucking hell, I really don’t have a clue’.

“Anyway, I’ve had a chat with Vince Cable and we agreed that he’s shit at his job too and would be just as shit at my job as I am.

“So it’s all fine.”