Society

THE new monarch would like you to promise to be loyal to him, but there are other uniquely British things you’d much rather swear allegiance to. Like these.

HOW have you, who were in no way a stereotype teenager, ended up with this grunting surly door-slammer? Why couldn’t your child follow your example?

THE balconies of an upscale apartment complex are the ideal location for all the owners' assorted crap, they have confirmed.

A WOMAN is struggling to book a holiday that meets a long list of contradictory requirements, she has confirmed.

A MAN who obsessively watches ten football matches every week thinks your hobbies and interests mark you out as an oddball, it has emerged.

CRASHED at a friend's? Woken up 180 minutes before them? Fill the cavernous eternity before they surface with these tips.

HEN parties are ravaging Britain, and every single one includes these seven women.

LOTS of tourist attractions deserve their popularity. Then there are these destinations which have made a name for themselves based on nonsense.

BRITAIN is to observe the May bank holiday by f**king like it will never f**k again, it has confirmed.

THE Metropolitan Police is failing to catch serial killers because they are close friends with them and drink together, it has confirmed.