Society

THE UK has woken gripped by a gnawing dread this morning: is King Charles’s Coronation guest list proof he will be the Monarch of Woke?

MEN who shorten the name David to ‘Dave’ are held in seething contempt by those who stick with the more formal option, it has emerged.

TALKING to someone in their forties? Want to avoid them breaking down crying from the sheer weight of their age? Steer clear of these remarks.

SOME words created from smashing two others together are useful, like internet or biopic. These ought to have been drowned at birth.

JUST 20 years ago, the UK was so idiotically credulous it believed there was a new breed of pigs that fitted cutely into teacups. We actually fell for this bollocks.

NOW London is a hotbed of Labour voters, Cockney rhyming slang’s gone all dagger and cloak. These are the new phrases down the hipster eel shop.

EVERYTHING that's wrong nowadays is blamed on wokeness, so maybe it’s time to start re-evaluating historical issues too. Like these.

AN important salesman like me notices when other drivers lack confidence, doing stupid things like obeying the speed limit. Here’s how I politely school them to become better drivers.

AN unsung hero has revealed that he does not have a massive problem with women who carry a small amount of fat on their stomach.

THE price of basic foodstuffs like bread, cereal and bacon have skyrocketed due to a man leaving Aldi and popping into M&S.