Society

Six luxuries of the poor, from phones to cheese. By Ann Widdecombe

POOR people should not have anything that make life enjoyable, and that includes food. Here is Ann Widdecombe’s guide to what they don’t deserve.

'We're only three hours from London' and other bizarre boasts Northerners make

SALT-of-the-earth Northerners hate showing off. Yeah, right. Here are some of the weirder humblebrags about the North they're inexplicably proud of.

Five professions you're uneasy with being younger than you

FEELING your age? Trying to believe you’re still youthful until you’re forced to interact with these mere children?

It’s Always Pissing Down in Cumbria: the tourism slogans of 21 English counties

AS a summer of supporting our glorious Brexit by holidaying domestically looms, choose your destination by its honesty.

Bolton dad takes family to London to show them how much it costs

A FATHER from Lancashire has taken his family to London for the day so they can see the incredible prices.

Renting is dead money, says landlord of 18 properties

A LANDLORD who owns 18 properties thinks renting is nothing more than throwing money down the drain.

Let's not do anything like that again as long as you live, says grateful nation

THE UK has asked the King to not put them through a weekend of pageantry like that for at least another 25 years.

Six southern complaints about visiting the North

NORTHERN towns and villages do their utmost to make themselves hostile environments for cosmopolitan southerners. Here’s how.

This is nothing to do with me, God confirms

DESPITE repeated mentions of the Holy Spirit and higher powers, God has confirmed that today’s proceedings have bugger all to do with him.

The only six places a teenager is allowed to be, by a gammon

TEENAGERS either stay indoors not getting enough fresh air or congregate wearing hoodies to do crime outside. So where should we allow them to go? Roy Hobbs believes these places and these places only.