AN unsung hero has revealed that he does not have a massive problem with women who carry a small amount of fat on their stomach.
Catering manager Stephen Malley generally prefers the supermodel type, but his progressive views mean he will kindly tolerate women with modest tummy fat who meet his other requirements.
Malley said: “I’m talking natural DDs, slim waist like a cartoon character, big arse but not fat. Like I say, a completely natural look. And also that little gap where her legs are connected to her body. That’s important.
“If she’s ticked all those boxes and she needs to lose an inch or two from her waist I’m not too fussed. It needn’t be an obstacle to romance blossoming and me giving her one.
“I can always tell her to go to the gym to sort it out. What really matters is all the other stuff about her as a person, specifically tits and arse. I don’t even mind if she can’t cook like my mum. I think I must be a ‘New Man’.”
Malley has floated the idea that he deserves a medal for his charitable views on women, possibly an OBE, but “nothing that would overshadow Captain Tom”.
Ex-girlfriend Emma Bradford said: “It’s brilliant that Steve is so open-minded about women’s looks when he’s a bald fat bastard himself. This is breaking new ground in lack of self-awareness.
“An OBE might be going a bit far though. Maybe he could just f**k off.”
