THE Metropolitan Police is failing to catch serial killers because they are close friends with them and drink together, it has confirmed.
The force admitted that it may be failing in its duty to apprehend serial murderers because it believes they are misunderstood and a great laugh after a couple of pints.
Detective inspector Joe Turner said: “Come on. So they’ve killed a few people. So who hasn’t?
“I know my hands aren’t clean and neither are most of the lads, so it would be pretty hypocritical of us to start locking up serial killers for murder. Especially when we’ve got at least two in senior ranks.
“You know that bit at the end of films, when the killer says ‘You and I, we’re the same’ to the cop? Well it’s like that but earlier in proceedings, and instead of a deadly game of cat-and-mouse we go down the boozer and play pool.
“When Alex says household objects have been telling him he must kill again, that’s just banter. Mental health issues too perhaps, but you can’t be looking down on that in modern society, they made us do a course about it.
“We don’t judge, here at the Met. To you they may be serial killers, but to us they’re just people who’ve taken a difficult path in life. Yes, I suppose that does make us better than you.”
