Society

A PROFESSOR has entered into a wager that he can make a Scottish National Party MP pass for a gentleman.

DAVID Cameron has confirmed it is okay to steal stuff from foreigners.

OFSTED School Performance Tables will culminate in play-offs and a Wembley Final.

THE public has been warned to avoid rail travel on any date.

A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.

A 15-YEAR-OLD boy was told to sit at the Trident missile controls and not press anything, it has emerged.

HOMEWORKERS in need of office-style conversation about TV and sport are meeting by dog waste bins.

STUDENTS hoping to move on to higher education from the University of Life must now pay a four-figure annual sum.

BAR worker Tom Logan has not even bothered to ask his boss whether his new job pays more than the legal minimum wage.

THE Government has today confirmed that it will be replacing the Human Rights Act with Warhammer 40,000: The Rules.